The gift of Tongues

For over a week now I have been looking at the gift of tongues, and how it applies to believers. 1 Corinthians 14:1 talks about eagerly desiring gifts. I truly agree with that verse and in my heart I really do desire ANYTHING that God would have for me. I look at my five wonderful children and they have hundreds of desires, that does not mean that every desire of theirs will be fulfilled....At least not yet. I feel that it is the same way with spiritual gifts. God wants me or us to desire them, but he knows when he wants to give them to us. I guess I wrestle with the fact that many people say that you have to do something or utter something and hope that you are being spiritual. That concerns me. I don't think that a gift should be sought after, I think that a gift is more special when it is given freely. There is another element that concerns me, that is that there seems to be an undermining "us vs them" mentality when the topic of tongues comes up.
Is not the fruit of the spirit more important than uttering in a tongue or prophesying or whatever? I feel that gifts are a tangible tool to cultivate the fruit in our life. Everything that we do in life builds or bruises our fruit. I don't want to say that I am putting down tongues....Not in a long shot. I am only trying to figure out what it means and what the truth behind it is.