Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Praise you in the storm


I want to give credit to my favorite album. Casting Crowns "Lifesongs"

The song that I am about to post here is a very powerful song. The CD is only $15 and is worth every penny. Casting Crowns are very unique and have a powerful message. Prasie you in the storm is by far my favorite song on the CD.

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth


Friday, December 16, 2005

A Baby's Hug

Flowerlady sent this to my wife...very cool reminder...a flower if you will.....




We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat
Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and
talking. Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said, "Hi." He
pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes
were crinkled in laughter and his mouth was bared in a toothless
grin, as he wriggled and giggled with merriment.

I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a
man whose pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast and his
toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair
was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be
called a beard and his nose was sovaricose it looked like a road
map.

We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled. His
hands waved and flapped on loose wrists. "Hi there, baby; hi
there,big boy. I see ya, buster," the man said to Erik. My husband and I exchanged looks, "What do we do?" Erik continued to laugh and answer, "Hi." Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby.

Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, "Do ya patty cake? Do you know ! peek-a-b oo? Hey, look, he knows peek-a-boo."

Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk.
My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except or Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.

We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My
husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the
parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door.
"Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik," I
prayed. As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to
sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did,
Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby's
"pick-me-up" position. Before I could stop him, Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man.

Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby
consummated their love and kinship. Erik in an act of total trust,
love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged
shoulder.

The man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time. I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, "You take care of this baby."

Somehow I managed, "I will," from a throat that contained a
stone. He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly, as
though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said,
"God bless you, ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift."

I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering
why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why ! I was saying, "My God, my God, forgive me." I had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, "Are you willing to share your son for a moment?" when He shared His for all eternity. The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, "To enter the Kingdom of God, we must become as little children."

We must always remember who we are, where we came from and, most importantly, how we feel about others. The clothes on your back or the car that you drive or the house that you live in does not define you at all; it is how you treat your fellow man that
identifies who you are.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Sheesh this is sillyness (SP?)

Okay I feel like a wom.. (oops better not say that :) ) Feeling one way one minute, another way yet another minute. I say to myself, get it together man. My last post spoke about my desire for relationships, yet I realized today, accually as I was writing this post. "wait a moment. 'I' can seek relationships with those fellow bloggers. In a sense I was expecting others to get to know me but I have a responsibility to get to know others also. I have been under the gun a lot lately.

- Working 64 hours a week to try to get caught up on some bills, also to raise funds for a repair on my van.


- Wrestling with understanding the truth behind Spirit-of-ism. I really wrestle with the excuse of spiritual onslaught. To me it seems like a cop out. "Oh I was under the spirit of lust, or divorce or depression". What type of a God do we serve? We are sons and daughters of the most high God. We are no longer slaves to sin, we are heirs with Christ. We have believed a lie that we are helpless in our sin. We are not helpless, we are FREE IN CHRIST. The problem is that we often don't feel free so therefore we beat ourselves over the head until we get that cute and cuddly feeling that Jesus loves me. Well in this case we are called to faith. STAND in your identity in Christ. It is Christ who sets us free from the choices of sin in our lives and it is his grace that enables us to walk that out. But to say that you are powerless is a wicked lie from the enemy and needs to be put in it's propper place.

2Peter 1:3 says that Gods divine power has given us everything that we need for life and Godliness.....EVERYTHING. Powerful. Kind of defeats the whole mentality of spirit ofism. When we are sitting at the judgement seat of God we will not be able to say "sorry God the spirit of temptation came over me" That line will not wash in the presence of God. You and I are responsible or the choices that we make. Satan tempts us but it is no spirit that enables us to sin. It is our our sinfull and selfish nature/desires that causes us to sin. It really rips me off when I see Satan lying to Gods people and making them think that they are powerless because they are not....more to follow as it comes clear.

- Parenting a testy pre adolescent. I could write a book (not really) on raising children from newborn to five. (I've done it 5 times now) but to raise up a 10 year old and teach him for the first time, is very tough. I feel at odds with this whole thing. I am preparing to go through the book 'Preparing for adolescence' with him. It does not help that God has given my son the same heart that I have so we clash a lot. I see things in him that irritate me about myself, then the gloves come off. My dear wife just shakes her head when my son and I go at it....wife asks"Does it really mater whether he eats cereal over toast?"..My response"It doesnt matter, it's an issue of obedience, I told him to eat toast" We are both very strong willed. What I need to lean on is an older man to teach me how to raise my son. I have some older men that I could ask so I probably will.


- Financial discipline: For months now my wife and I have been tested financially. Not lacking in any means, but more regarding our character. God is watching us and seeing what our responses will be to situations that come up. The whole process of financial management is so great and there is much to learn.

Holy heck have I written a lot. I just realized that a large number of people that read my blog are people that I desire to bless and are people that are on my heart to speak into thier lives.

And so the journey continues. Hopefully things will settle down in my mind, or maybe thats how I am wired.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Blog issues

I'm still kicking. I have had some issues with blogging which has caused me to withdrawl from it. I have had some significant conversations with folks that have some personal relationships with other bloggers around the globe. One person in Saskatoon is close to a blogger in Australia. I don't knock blogging in anyway, it's just that I value relationship and dont want someone to simply "log on" to hear my heart. It is sacred, something to be shared with wisdom and discernment. Some things are for me to share while other things are reserved for my closest friends, or for me alone. Blogging can be good in certain circles but if it ever causes someone to "log on" to hear what "CWG" has to say, I'd rather not share it. Sorry I dont mean to sound cold, I'm just feeling very direct at this moment. If what I write breeds edification, encourages and kindly rebukes, then maybe it would be worth sharing, but for now my heart is a sacred vessel from God and I choose to share it wisely. I'm not sure where this post is going, just wanted to breath a bit. Those who know me closest know my motivation. Others will simply need to trust that this is a path for me and I need to walk it.