What's up with Christmas

For the past four or five years, Christmas has had less significance in my life. Last year it could have been the fourth of July, as there was no special excitement. This year again there is no real ferver. The thing that is weird is that I have five children and I think to myself that christmas should be that much more exciting. I cringe at the hustle and bustle. Also the finances that go out at christmas. Anyone who knows my heart knows that I am not a miser, however I find personally that for some reason. christmas is always the biggest finacial stretch.....before buying gifts. I sure wish that I knew what was going on in my heart. I sort of feel like I need to find out what celebrating christmas looks like for my family and I.