A little insight

I feel the need to share in greater detail the journey that I am on. Reading others blogs is very inspiring. I love doing it. I enjoy seeing God work in others lives. On the other hand I am very much a person that strongly values relationship. I am concerned that blogging could replace the intimacy shared between friends. I also agree that blogging can open windows to relationships.

I wonder if blogging takes away a little bit of that intimacy. If I am daily reading blogs of those that I are in my church, and I'm not spending time with them, I am getting information over the internet. Personally I would like to have a relationship with a person as well as reading thier blog. It then compliments the relationship. I was challenged tonight by a friend that reminded me that I cannot be friends with everyone. This is true.

I often assume the role of a watchman in situations, so I could very well be doing that here.

I don't like things that get clicky, so that could be another thing. Often when things get to be the next best thing since sliced bread, I step back asI don't enjoy that environment. It must be a part of who I am. Blogging could be that. It could get clicky and it is becoming very popular. I really wish that I could explain it the way that I feel it because in my heart it makes sense. The last thing that I want to do though is cast judgement on fellow bloggers as that is not my intent. So bear with me as I wrestle this out. Perhaps I was too quick to post on that topic. Anyway God will be faithful to reveal his truth. I can put my trust in that fact.

Giving and borrowing

Matthew 5: 42

"Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one
who wants to borrow from you."

What a profound verse. Do you notice that it doesn't say 'in certain
situations, when you can afford to give, then give what you can afford'
It says give. Give is a direct statement or command. It doesn't matter if
you can afford it or not, the Lord is commanding us to give. Not only that,
but it says to give to him who asks. Notice that it doesn't say that you are
to "give" to the one who asks to borrow from you, but it says to not turn him
away. This tells me that you are to seek the heart of God in situations where
people want to borrow from us, So that we can approach each situation
with wisdom and discernment, so that you may know what your role is in
every situation.

Coffee time

I have been thinking a lot about blogging as of late and have made some decisions based on these thoughts. From now on this blog wont have any jouralling of my personal life. I believe that it is robbing me of getting to know other members of my church family. For example I read some peoples blogs that are in my church and I dont even know them personally. That bothers me. I should get to know these people and find out for myself who they are and not figure it out through thier blog.

So with that said, for those in my church family, if you really want to know what is going on in my life, or you want to get to know me, invite me out for coffee or invite my family over for dinner and I would love to share my heart with you...did I mention inviting me out for coffee?

In search of truth was created to simply share the truth that I am learning through the word of God, more of a place that I can refer to later in life. It wasn't intended to share my journey in life. This isn't a smite against blogging but it is a step that I feel I need to take in order to continue building relationships with the family of believers that I love.

A great example of being salt and light

On the front page of the Star Phoenix is a full page article on the life and passing of Pastor Dwayne Harms. Please take time to read it. It is inspiring to live a life of holiness and righteousness. His journey and faith in Christ made it to the front page of our local newspaper....Would our life story be a testimony of God's faithfulness...or make it to the media?? I wonder. Anyway read the story and be blessed by this mans life.

Star Phoenix article on Dwayne Harms

It's Party time

Just finished work, and now I am on vacation for 17 days. I'm so totally excited. Here are some things our family is planing so far.

- Canada remembers air show
- Going to Calgary Sunday
- Calgary zoo
- Calaway park (still undecided)
- Drive through the mountains and show the kids a trail that goes 3 km to some upper falls....One of our mine and Holly's favorite places when we were dating.
- Visit family
- Visit friends along the way
- Spend some time with a great friend. (Jim)

Coming back Saturday, afternoon for a BBQ with friends.

Spending the following week doing day trips and fixing up my house.

I'm off to the air show.

TTYL (talk to you later)

Praise and Worship

This morning as I met with a friend, the Holy Spirit brought me back to some truths that I was searching for about a year back.The question then was:

What is praise and worship?

Praise:

Praise defined, is our expression to what God has done.
The last 5 chapters in Psalms defines praise very well.

PS 145:7 They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

PS 145:11 They will tell of the glory of your kingdom and speak of your might.

PS 149:3 Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourines and harp.

PS 150:2-5 Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness, praise him with the sound of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with tamourines and dancing, praise him with strings and flute, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbols.

Praise in the Old testiment always included these types of acts. People were responding to the good things that God had done and for what he was going to do.

Worship:

Worship on the other hand is much different.
Worship defined is our expression to who God is.

1Ch: 16:29 Ascribe to the Lord, the glory due his name. Bring an offering and come before him; worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.

2Ch 29:28 The whole assembly bowed in worship, while the singers sang and the trumpeters played.

Job1:20 At this Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground and worshipped.

PS 95:6 Come let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our maker.

PS 99:5 Exalt the Lord our God and worship at his footstool; for he is holy.

When we read about worship in the bible, people were so filled with God's reverance and holiness that they fell down as if dead. True worship happens when we are in close proximity to the presence of God. It brings us to the place where we really see the sin in our lives and we honestly repent. Moses when he encountered God, worshipped him. There were so many other people in the bible that fell down and worshipped. I think sometimes we get lost in the definition of the words praise and worship.
As you can see the two are very different. I would be bold to say that what we experience on Sunday mornings would be praise. Worship happens when we get on our knees and realize Gods sovereignty and then the fear of the Lord shows up and our lives are transformed by the very presence of God in our lives. If we really felt the presence of God, we would be running so far away, that it wouldn't even be funny. Or we would be so aware of the sin in our lives that we would fall down as if dead in his holy presence. There is a book out there that I desperately want to purchase. It's called "In the face of God" This book talks about this very thing. I think that we all need to realize and really understand the words that we use. Praise God for his goodness and lay down in worship.

Been tagged by Truth bringer (my boy)

My son has posted his tag on his blog, and he tagged me so here I go...


10 years ago....

... I was living in Calgary, preparing to move to Saskatoon to help plant a Vineyard church.
... I was a security guard
... I was younger
... I was very immature (my priorities were out of whack)
... I was attending a smokin good church
... I had 2 children (one living, one in heaven)

1 year ago....

... I was still younger
... I applied for a car loan only to be denied
... God started to teach me in more depth about managing my family "well"
... I was attending another smokin good church
... My pastor started discipling me (mid way through last year)
... I had 5 more children (4 living, another in heaven)

Yesterday...

...I spent time with two close brothers.
...I worked
...I watched movies with my kids
...Went to bed early

Tomorrow...

...I might be taking my son to camp with a friend
...I am going to church
...I am planning on spending time with my family for the remainder of the day

5 Snacks I enjoy...

1. Ripple chips & french onion dip (with a very large glass of ice cold Coke)
2. My homemade nacho's
3. Popcorn
4. Delivered Chinese food (my wife and I enjoy ordering Chinese after our kids go to bed...mmmm)
5. Frozen berries

Best impression,s

1. Mr.Bean "The name's bean"
2. Jonny five (Short circuit) any quote
3. Bruce Almighty (It's gooood) (so my son tells me)

5 thing's I would do with $100,000,000

1. Tithe
2. Pray and discern about who to bless with it. (many people suddenly become friends when there is a windfall)
3. Buy up as many properties in the inner city and revitalize them. Then Turn them into affordable housing for low income families.
4. Pay off some freinds debt.
5. Build my mom and dad a dream home complete with a full sized library. One story bungalo...NO STAIRS to fall down.

5 locations I would like to run away to...

1. Scotland
2. Peru
3. Maritimes
4. Paris
5. Europe

5 bad habits of mine

1. Procrastination.
2. Driving the speed limit in the lefthand lane.
3. I smell everthing. (that's how I know when my clothes are dirty or clean, drives my wife crazy)
4. Arguing with my kids (senselessly), not knowing when to punt.
5. My need to conquer. (When I play game cube with my boy's I get grumpy if they wont let me play.....after all I'm spending 'quality time' with them, why woudn't they want to let me play) Even though once I start playing, they dont usually get to play for errr shall we say...a while.

5 things I love doing

1. Watching an action movie on Friday nights at midnight, once everyone is in bed. It's some me time that I really enjoy.
2. Blogging
3. Going for coffee with my friends
4. Spending time with my family. (My favorite)
5. Driving on the open road trips, mountains, day trips, whatever, as long as I get to drive.

5 things I would never wear

1. Muscle shirts
2. Speedo's
3. Leather pant's
4. Suspenders
5. Overalls

5 Movies that I like

1. Robin hood prince of thieves (Kevin Costner)
2. LOTR series
3. King Arthur
4. "Bean" the movie
5. The origional Matrix

5 famous people that I would like to meet...

1. The bloggless one
2. John MacArthur
3. Chuck Swindoll
4. Loren Cunningham
5. Keith Green

5 biggest joys at the moment

1. My wife
2. My Children
3. My church
4. My job
5. My house

5 favorte toys

1. Computer
2. NHL 2000
3. Fire pit
4. My newly purchased $2 Cappuccino maker and steamer
5. My boys game cube


It looks like I got the last word as everyone else has been tagged.

A light in the darkness

Sheesh I have been facing many difficult situations lately. The latest one is in my housing co-op.

I am a part of an organization that provides home ownership to families with low incomes. The government puts a 30% down payment on houses in the inner city and they expect you to be a part of a co-op for five years, then will forgive the 30% down payment and the title of the property is turned over to the existing family. It is a wonderful opportunity for families who otherwise could not own thier own home.

I have been the president of our co-op for the past two years. As part of that position it is my responsibility to manage the affairs that happen within the co-op.

Recently our co-op had to make an unfortunate decision to ask one of our members to leave thier home. For confidential reasons I cannot explain why. I went by the house today to get the door locks re keyed and I had the opportunity to walk through the house. I was an utter mess. Garbage strewn all over the house. Walls damaged (not vandalized but needing repair), sewage in the washroom. Eavstroughs ripped off the house. It was very discouraging to see the estate of the house. It will cost our co-op up to $1000 to repair it. $1000 that we do not have. Anyway, as I walked through the house, it felt yucky inside. You know when you walk into a situation where your spirit is on red alert? Well that is the feeling that I had when I walked through this house. There is a very bad spiritual presence there. In fact this is the second family that has left that house. I am going to discern whether or not I should get some Godly men in there to pray through it with me and clean it up.

Being a president in a secular organization has been very good for me. I have been forced to act on policy and bylaw more that my heart would like. To date our co-op has asked 3 families to leave. All 3 times I could have acted on my hearts desire to see them stay, and probably could have encouraged the rest of the board to let them stay. But in hindsight I realize that a decision like that would have brought down the co-op finacially. I have been learning to manage on a much larger scale. I am beginning to see that following the policies of our co-op is God honoring. It protects the families that are truly trying to get thier homes. Plus it gives direction when things do go wrong.

For three years I have been asking God how I can be a light to my co-op. I realized a few months ago that there are 25 people that I am or that I have the opportunity to influence for the Kingdom of God. Hopefully I am already being a light as I walk with them in our co-op.

I won't lie though it is very tough being a light in the darkness. There is such a strong poverty mentality in our co-op. people that have rented all of thier lives, and not realizing that they are now owners in training. You see our co-op does not do repair work in peoples homes. Once a family moves in, it is thier responsibility to work on their homes and fix whatever problems arise. Anyway I am getting long wided here. I have one month left and then I am resigning as president, but I wouldn't trade what I have learned in that process. And hopefully I can influence some of those 25 people to the point of salvation. Now that would be cool.

Living on the devils doorstep

Sunday evening as I was getting my kids into the van to take them to freinds for supper, I heard a great big glass shattering sound from the house beside me. I looked up and a man was running from the back yard and running straight into the path of my daughter (she was walking to the house behind me) This man was followed by two policemen on bikes. I had to yell at my daughter to get her to quicken her pace, otherwise she would have gotten flattened by the man running away. Just behind my van the police stopped him and handcuffed him, then put him in a cruiser when a car showed up. All the while, my kids were in the van watching the whole thing. I got into the van and my four year old in all of his wisdom said "that man wasn't nice was he daddy?" I asked him why, and he said "because the police are taking him away".

My heart was racing three times its normal rate. Not because this man was being chased by the police but the realization that my daughter could have been hurt in that ordeal.

Saturday morning there was a murder in my community. Exactly four blocks west of my house. Apparently it was the bad mix of 40 people partying together. Drugs, alchohol and large masses of crowds are always recipes for disaster. A young 17 year old boy was killed in the streets....literally. This greatly grieves my heart. What was God's intention for this young man? When he was forming him in his mothers womb, what was he thinking? Was he to minister to people. Was he to raise a family. Or was he simply going to give glory and honor to God. Often times when I hear of someone dying a horrific death, I think about where that individual is right now.

I was thinking to myself today, "...and I am raising my family here...hmmmm" well God is bigger that any gang member or roughed up individual causing trouble in the neighborhood. I just need to know what my responsibility is to my community. Heck maybe it is simply raising a strong Godly family that can be a light and witness to the dark homes around us.

Passion tells me to get out there and strut my stuff and tell them about Jesus any way that I can. Wisdom tells me, to get on my knees and allow God to breakthrough the evil forces that preside in our community. Then when he moves, I can follow. If I move out ahead of God, then I will get whacked and taken out. Then I will be of no use to them or my family, where my first defence is anyways. I want to be a testimony of Gods faithfulness. Not foolishly, but honestly.

So far I have witnessed drug deals, gang fights, drunken fights, a shanty house being burnt down, garages in the back alley being burnt by arsonist, vandalized vehicles. to name a few. So tonight I sit here asking father God, why do you have me here. (don't get me wrong, it has been my prayer that God would use me in this way)

Investing in our kids

The past few days, my wife and I have been spending alot of time with our kids. Last night we took our kids to the movies. My wife took my two oldest boys to see Star wars, and I took our three youngest to see Madagascar. (I think I saw the better movie).....just a little poke at you know who... anyways we got them the usual treats at the show, then took them to Mc Donalds for ice cream. Today we took them to Valley Regional Park. (about 60 km's north of Saskatoon) Anyway, it is awsome for the kids. We had a picnic luncch and took a long walk. Then came back into the city and rented Fat Albert to watch over a home cooked meal of chicken cordon blue. It is so utterly important to invest in our kids. I would scrimp and save anything to spend time with them, and build into them.

Tickets to the movies...$25
Popcorn and drinks....$22
Ice cream treats...$10
Day trip to Valley regional park $20

Seeing the happiness and joy on our kids faces......PRICELESS

The swordsmen

One of my best friends and I had the great honor of being a part of our friends wedding. She asked us if we would walk ahead of her and carry swords with us. It was a great prophetic picture. My friend and I have walked closely with the bride for 3 1/2 years and have been her big brothers and provided some fatherly love to her two boys. (they lost thier daddy suddenly 3 1/2 years ago) . Anyway it was a great honor to be a part of that. Beside my buddy, and supporting our bride to be friend.